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The Last Homely Housekeeper

Rolf Luchs, a Tolkien fan, has written a parody of The Lord of the Rings told from the perspective of a Rivendell housekeeper in a tale known as “The Last Homely Housekeeper“.

The Last Homely Housekeeper starts with:

February 23, 2941: Gandalf stayed again last night. Just breezed in without warning or by-your-leave, the way he always does: standing there in that weatherworn grey cloak and battered, pointy blue hat, leaning on his staff, drumming his fingers on my counter impatiently. As if all the world revolved around him.

I leafed back through the guest book pages. ‘I see it’s . . . hmm . . . ninety-one years since we last enjoyed your company in Rivendell.’ But then I saw the comments he’d scribbled in the book back then: ‘Service could be better. Also, towels musty, room draughty.’ Critiques of this kind always put my back up, implying as they do that our blessed valley and homely house are just a public way station, to be reviewed by travellers like some country inn. Not one of the last strongholds of the proud and ancient race of Elves in Middle-earth . . .

About the Author: Shaun Gunner
Shaun is the current Chair of The Tolkien Society. Elected in 2013, Shaun regularly speaks about adaptations of Tolkien's works whilst passionately believing the Society needs to reach out to new audiences. In his spare time can be found in the cinema, playing video games and Lego, or on Twitter.